Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Census Lady's Visit

The Census Lady came the other day. We are now officially counted for posterity. I answered all her questions openly and freely. Why not? I love to talk about myself. I have no fear of all my personal info being plastered across the world. Most of my neighbors and acquaintances know my name anyway. They know I live here. They know who else lives here. I don’t much care about the rest of the population in that regard.

My neighbors and acquaintances know I don’t always keep the grass mowed and trimmed although the lady didn’t ask about it. They know I am a Democrat because of the bumper sticker on the back of my old Buick but she didn’t ask about that either. They probably know when and how much I am overdrawn at the bank, small towns not being big on personal privacy except that everyone wants it, but nothing about my bank habits was on the questionnaire. I’m glad about that. I always sweat when I lie.

She did ask if I could dress myself and such or had trouble with stairs and I asked her if she meant going up or coming down. There is definitely a difference. She asked me how many times I’ve been married and when the last happy divorce occurred. (my words.. not hers) About half way through the thing she asked me if I was deaf. That was kind of funny as we had been having quite an informative little conversation up ‘til then.

She asked if I had a telephone, a TV, bathroom plumbing, a sink with a faucet. I thought that was kind of cute except I can remember living in houses that did not have a faucet in the sink. Heck, I can remember living in houses without bathroom plumbing!

Anyway, I hope all this top-secret info guides those in high positions to make the weighty decisions they are charged with in the matters of indoor plumbing and how long it takes me to climb a flight of stairs and the date of my last divorce.

I’ve done my part!

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