Thursday, July 15, 2010

Lib Watching..My Favorite Sport

I have to admit, one of the reasons for my remaining a staunch Liberal over the years is the entertainment value of it all. This is not the top reason on my list but it is a significant one.

Short of any fashion sense or political correctness myself, I have a strong affinity for those who do not ponder questions of stylish dress and an inherent sympathy for those found in compromising situations. In these matters my fellow Liberals have generally furnished all the entertainment necessary to keep me interested enough in politics to actually go vote.

But alas, in this last decade, conservatives have challenged my chosen political bias with their own flamboyant versions of idiocy and general bizarreness and the occasional glimpse of Conservatives in green plaid trousers and comb-overs in the halls of the Senate has totally disrupted my Liberal loyalties.

However, if the BP spill has done nothing else it brings back to the limelight those lovable Liberals who have been wasting their lives on stuff like saving the planet and all that.

While Conservatives fill the air with cries of "Doom to All Liberals", Liberals have stayed pretty busy shooting at Japanese whaling ships, demanding that oil spill workers have protective gear, pointing out that as far as the ocean and air goes, poison in and poison out is a given and mentioning that most people do not make $250,00 a year nor do they have the $1.3 million that would put their estates at risk of having to pay a dreaded "Death Tax" so derided by Conservatives.

Unfortunately, this last ten years has strained my loyalty in this regard. In the face of all the Bushisms, Palinisms, Bachmanisms, Beckisms and the bouncing, sputtering and wildly gesticulating Limbaughisms it was beginning to look like my Liberals were being outgunned!

However, in the matter of dress and style sense, my lovable Libs still have no equal. Largely due to the urgency of the disastrous BP spill a parade of weirdly dressed and wildly coiffed individuals, easily recognizable as Liberals by their left wing associations, are once again making their presence known.

We haven’t seen much of these people lately. They who wantonly spend their lives trying to preserve the oceans, conserve the species and reserve our resources for us don’t get much press anymore.

Yet, once again they are in the news because of their efforts to convince us to demand policies that preserve, conserve and reserve.

Liberals are so easy to spot it has become a game at our house.

First let me say that I have a deep admiration for the solidarity of Conservatives in all things. As a personal slob myself I am in awe of their well groomed and well coiffed appearance any time, anywhere the cameras run them down. (Or they run down the cameras.) I can only assume they are always like that and I respect them for it.

But Liberals, by their very diversity, stick out in any crowd. If you see an intense little woman, 30 pounds overweight whose wildly mismanaged hair looks like the round bristly brush of a chimney sweep, speaking awkwardly and urgently on behalf of masks and protective gear for clean-up crews, you can bet your next credit card reward that she is a Liberal.

That lanky balding guy in the wrinkled vest with a long New England nose that barely hold his glasses up ?? Speaking almost in a whisper before a Congressional Committee? No tie..plaid shirt..looks like he slept under the mattress instead of on it?? A 4-sure Lib.

If you see two people running for the school board, one a loan officer at the bank with his cell phone tucked into a pocket of his L.L. Bean cargo pants and the other a retired school teacher in stretch knit pants carrying what looks like a beach bag for a purse,..guess which one is the Lib.

Oh, I know there are some very well decked out Liberals and I even know some who get their haircut on a regular basis and buy new clothes twice a year. But I can’t help regarding them with a certain amount of suspicion. In an emergency, how in the world would they find time to scrub down an oil-soaked turtle if they had to stop to comb their hair every half hour or so? And what would it do to their nails I ask you?

Just how long do you think they would last on a Whaling Ship Bombing Mission? What do you think would happen then to their carefully color-treated hair, Designer Speedo pants and Gucchi shoulder bag?

And all those hours spent collecting foodstuff for the poor and clothes for the could they do it without good old tennis shoes? If I know anything about style, (and I don’t) you should NEVER wear tennis shoes with nice clothes like one would naturally wear while collecting foodstuff for the poor and clothes for the homeless.

At any rate, I love Lib watching. It is one of my favorite sports.

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