Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Dentist

At seventy years my eyes are decateracted and totally lasered and all my vital organs, bones and skin are now under warranty. I can see well enough to blog and drive and if I come down with scabies I can have it cured. But wouldn't you know, my eaters let me down. After acquiring every kind of insurance I thought I would ever need, my eaters have betrayed me, or was it all those cokes and Hershey bars?. Perhaps they just felt slighted in that they have been absolutely and totally neglected for almost forever.

I never thought I would say this but, I get to go to the dentist this week. My first dental visit last week produced a cost quote so painful my tooth didn't hurt for three days. But the shock wore off and the tooth began to hurt again so I saw another dentist. His cost bid was much lower for a more comprehensive effort so I accepted. He will only require a second mortgage on the farm and one kidney upon request. I tried the firstborn son thing but mine is old enough to retire and almost has and is definitely a high maintenance child.

I immediately fell in love with my new best friend, the dentist. It's amazing how quickly my emotions become involved when the painkill concept kicks in. Add a little vanity, the gaps in my front teeth will now match, one on each side, and I am a goner. My thinking on the gap thing is that people who pay attention when I speak, (actually I can't think of any right off, that's why I blog) will be so dazzled by the two, shiny center teeth standing alone they will not even notice the gap on each side.

At a later date, after I am drilled and filled and capped, I have the option of getting a "device". That sounds pretty intimidating but not as intimidating as gumming it for the next twenty years or so. Everything I like is crunchy.

I was pretty sure I would like this dentist when I went through the stack of magazines in the waiting room. No Golf Digest, Naste Travel Mags or Parenting for the Millionaire type of thing here. Obviously this guy's fees did not support the more expensive interests. His were more of the dog-eared, been read forty-two-times -with-the-recipes-torn-out kind of literature so I have high hopes. Wish me luck!

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